Microsoft Zone Archive/Player Chronicles/The Con

Original Link (now dead) - http://zone.msn.com/asheronscall/ASHEcon.asp

The Con

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By Anonymous Botch

Noblesse Oblige, an 18th-level blademaster, swept the Old Mines clean of lugians and treasure alike, then went to his secret wilderness cache, where he deposited three ice tachis, a gold ken, a flaming spear, and a lightning hammer. Very soon his alter ego, Buck the Mule, arrived at the spot to redeem the three ice tachis, gold ken, flaming spear, and lightning hammer, but instead discovered only a single piece of parchment. With dread foreboding, Buck examined the note, which said, "The woods are rife with brigands; therefore, I have taken your three ice tachis, gold ken, flaming spear, and lightning hammer into safekeeping. You may find me at the blacksmith's shop in the nearby town of Arwic. My name is Saint Anthony."

Much relieved, Buck took himself to the indicated spot but could not find Saint Anthony. "Saint Anthony!" he shouted. "I got your note."

Suddenly a swordsman named Guano stepped forward. "You got a note? I got one too, but I can't find this guy anywhere."

"Let me see." Buck examined Guano's note, which read: "The woods are rife with brigands; therefore, I have taken your gold yoroi armor into safekeeping. You may find me at the blacksmith's shop in the nearby town of Arwic. My name is Saint Anthony the Vagabond."

"'Vagabond'?" said Buck.

"Yeah," said Guano. "I think we've been cheated."

At that moment a character by the name of Wee-Z appeared, and shouted, "Did someone lose some stuff?"

"Me!" said Guano.

Wee-Z approached and said, "I got a note that said someone named Noblesse would give me a parchment if I told him who stole his treasure."

"My other character is Noblesse," Buck said. "Here's my parchment."

"Here! I got one too," Guano said. "Tell us."

"Well, I'm not one to profit off the misfortune of others," said Wee-Z. "But times are hard. I want two thousand pyreals each."

Begrudgingly, Buck and Guano paid over the money, whereupon Wee-Z paused for a moment. "I'm going to write the name down so you won't forget it." After a suspiciously long interval, he finally handed a parchment to Guano and departed. Buck waited patiently for a long time. "Come on, what's it say?" Guano handed it over, and Buck hastily read: "Dear sucker, today I followed a man named Saint Anthony into the woods and watched as he picked up some loot and left behind a note. I put the note back after reading it and caught up to Anthony, but he demanded the note before he'd give me what I wanted. I returned and found the note gone, but then had the luck to . . . one, find you; and two, find that you are gullible. You paid for the name of the man who cheated you, and my generous nature prevents me from cheating you twice, so I sign myself . . .

"Yours truly, Wee-Z."

"He's got my note too," said Guano.

Buck cast about and spied Wee-Z at the far edge of the town common. "Come on," he said. "He's talking to that guy."

But, alas, they were too late. Wee-Z had just taken his leave and run off at uncanny speed, as if aided by magical shoes. He had already finished his business with a well-meaning but naive character, by the name of Saint Anthony.

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